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A friend told me I should stick it out a while longer since there are benefits to being married ten years or longer. In some states, such as California, in a marriage of ten years or longer the court retains he right to order that alimony be paid to the lesser-earning spouse for as long as she needs it, if the other spouse has the ability to pay.

If you do not know the rules in your state, you could unintentionally lose your right to alimony.

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Men in particular often come out of the divorce process feeling aggrieved and embittered.

A very common scenario is that the house is transferred to the wife’s sole name, the children live with the wife and the husband pays maintenance for the children until they leave full time education while at the same time losing meaningful contact with them. The husband has paid the mortgage installments while the wife has remained at home to look after the children from the time they were born.

Ten years is also important if your spouse is in the military and will be eligible for retirement pay.

If you were married for at least ten years while he was on active duty, you will qualify for direct enforcement, which means your portion of retirement pay will be paid directly to you by the military finance office.

The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA™) is the premier national organization dedicated to the certification, education and promotion of the use of financial professionals in the divorce arena.